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Tag: Life Coaching Philippines

Year-End Reflection: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Brighter Future

As the year comes to a close, it’s a great time to pause and reflect on the journey we’ve been on. Just like a seasoned traveler who takes a moment to admire the view before embarking on a new adventure, let’s take a moment to look back and savor the experiences and lessons from the past year.

The Power of Reflection

Reflecting on the past year is more than just an exercise in nostalgia. In fact, research has found that reflecting on past experiences can help us gain insights into our behavior patterns, emotions, and motivations (Kross & Ayduk, 2010). This self-awareness can lead to increased self-regulation and improved decision-making.

A Deep Dive into Reflection

To maximize the benefits of reflection, consider these questions when looking back at the year that was:

  • What were your biggest accomplishments? Celebrating our successes, no matter how small, boosts our self-esteem and motivates us for future endeavors. 
  • What were your biggest challenges? As humans, it is natural for us to face challenges and setbacks. It is t how we respond to them that shapes our character. Reflect on the obstacles you faced. What did you learn from these experiences? How did you grow as a result?
  • What brought you joy and fulfillment? Recall the moments that brought you happiness and a sense of purpose. Were there specific relationships, hobbies, or activities that nourished your soul? 
  • What areas could you improve upon? We are constantly evolving. Honest self-assessment is a powerful tool for growth. Identify areas where you could develop further. Are there habits you’d like to cultivate, or skills you’d like to enhance?
  • Based on your answers to the previous questions, what themes are coming out? What is most important to you? Our answers point to what we value most; these may help guide us in envisioning what we want to work towards in the future.

Setting Intentions for a Brighter Future

Now that you’ve taken a moment to reflect on the past year, it’s time to set your intentions for the future. We at Haraya have found that goals are more easily and sustainably achieved when we start with a purposeful mindset and clear intentions during goal setting. Some possible prompts to get you started on goal setting:

  • Based on the themes and values that are important to you, what would you like to achieve by the end of next year? It can be helpful to take a moment to envision how your life might be different by then.
  • By the end of next year, how do you want to be different? Sometimes, our goals may not necessarily be about external achievements but about internal growth and development. What needs to change in you to bring you closer to your desired future?

The Science of Effective Goal Setting

Research has consistently shown that setting specific, challenging, and achievable goals can significantly improve performance and motivation (Locke & Latham, 1990). 

When reviewing the goals you have set, consider the following:

  • Specificity: Clearly define your goals. Instead of a vague goal like “I want to be healthier,” aim for a specific goal like “I will exercise for 30 minutes, three times a week.”
  • Challenge: Set goals that push you outside your comfort zone, but are still attainable. Challenging goals can increase motivation and satisfaction.
  • Commitment: Make a conscious cjommitment to your goals. This involves actively visualizing your success and believing in your ability to achieve it.
  • Feedback: Regularly assess your progress. This can help you stay on track and make adjustments as needed.
  • Celebrating Quick Wins:  To help in sustaining momentum, define your quicks wins or checkpoints where you will celebrate your progress. Identify what celebration you will want to do at each checkpoint.
  • Task Strategy: Develop a specific plan of action to achieve your goals. Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

A key ingredient for success is a growth mindset, the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. By embracing challenges as opportunities for growth, you can overcome obstacles and achieve your goals.  

The journey of self-improvement is a lifelong one. Be patient with yourself, embrace the process, and enjoy the ride.

Would you like further support in reflecting on the year that was or would like to have an accountability partner to reach your goals? Our Haraya coaches are here to help. Simply message us via our website or social media channels (@harayacoaching on FB, IG and LinkedIn). You can also directly book a session with our coaches in MindYou.


Sources:

Ayduk, O., & Kross, E. (2010). From a distance: implications of spontaneous self-distancing for adaptive self-reflection. Journal of personality and social psychology, 98(5), 809–829. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0019205

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (1990). A theory of goal setting & task performance. Prentice Hall.

Celebrating Being Average

I’m not sure how common this experience is and maybe you can tell me. I will sometimes find
myself scrolling through my newsfeed on social media and experiencing feelings of inadequacy,
lacking, or not-enough-ness. I read all the stories about others being the best, the top, or
achieving much success and, while I celebrate their joys (I truly do), I can’t help but feel a bit of
sting as I look inward. I ask myself, “what do you have to show for?” or “what are you the best
at?” and then I quickly go to “maybe you’re just jealous” or “why can’t you just be happy for
them and leave it at that?”
I’ve been reflecting on this experience and thought it might be worthwhile sharing just in case
others are experiencing the same thing. I like to think of myself as average so there’s a pretty
good chance the other average ones may understand these sentiments. In my reflections, I
decided that, instead of trying to find what I have to show for, it might be helpful to think about
what makes me average and celebrate that instead. Just for context, here is the definition of
average that I’m using as reference: of the usual or ordinary standard, level, or quantity.
Here’s an initial list of my averages:

  1. I’m an average student. I never really received high grades and even now, as I take a
    master’s program in a topic I find fascinating, I’m still performing at an average mark
    despite a lot of effort I’m putting into my studies. I recently received my average grade
    for my latest module and am over the moon about it!
  2. I’m an average reader. I like buying books that I find interesting and will take forever to
    read them (if I even get to it) and I cannot, for the life of me, quote passages or one-
    liners in an intellectual conversation. When I do get to finish a book, I feel so
    accomplished!
  3. I’m an average cook. I enjoy preparing meals for my family and friends and I can follow a
    recipe well enough, and while serving it I will ask “Do you like it?” just because no one is
    commenting about the food. And if they say, “Yeah it’s good!” I celebrate that even if
    they’re just trying to be polite or thankful that I didn’t mess it up so badly.
  4. I’m an average athlete. I was never the strongest rower or runner in my team and there
    were always others who had natural strengths in whatever sport they got into. I have to
    exert extra effort to get by and would find my space in the middle of the pack and enjoy
    myself there.
  5. I’m an average entrepreneur. I’ve been running a business for over a decade, and we’ve
    scaled it to an average size, and I still stay up at night worrying about the next pay cycles
    and keeping things afloat. I celebrate the moments when we get through the difficult
    times together with my team.
    I can add so much more to this list, but I don’t really feel a need to. It’s an average amount to
    reinforce just how average I am. Please don’t mistake this article to mean I am looking for
    affirmation on things I’m great at. I like to think I’m aware of the things I can do quite well. I just
    thought it would be nice for a change to allow ourselves to celebrate being average because

most of us are and that’s perfectly okay. I’d love to hear your average stories so I can celebrate them with you!

How Coaching and Therapy Supported my Mental Health

It may be a coincidence that October 10 is both the anniversary of Haraya Coaching and the commemoration of World Mental Health Day, and for the past 11 years that we’ve grown in our practice, I am more convinced that it is a meaningful integration. I’ve personally seen how coaching can support mental wellness and I feel so much more resolve to share how this is true. I am often asked about the difference between coaching and therapy, and while there are many resources one might find online, and I could share more formal definitions of these practices, I thought it would be useful to share my own personal stories of how both modalities have helped me.

Coaching helped me re-design my life and move forward.
I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2018 and had a wonderful support system around me. Loved ones were around to be with me all throughout my journey and I never really felt alone. I knew I was loved and that gave me a lot of strength. It was initially difficult though, for me to see beyond my illness. I couldn’t see too far into the future and worried about others around me. How would I continue to make a difference and contribute to the world? I felt I was being derailed from my life plans. I was so blessed that a friend offered to coach me through my cancer journey and allowed me to reflect on how this experience integrates into my life and I found a new sense of purpose – one that did not disregard my cancer but embraced it as a blessing that could help me become a different version of me. Coaching supported me in the
design of that new purpose and in taking accountability for making it real.

Therapy helped me understand my inner thoughts and feelings.
Fast-forward to 2020 when the world came to a standstill caused by Covid, and the normssuddenly became isolation and avoidance of human contact. The world was grieving. We lost friends and family to this dreadful disease. We also lost human connection. I found myself catatonic at first, watching the news, not knowing what to do, and feeling terribly sad and angry. I was sad from the loss of life and freedoms and angry with the government for everything else. I felt betrayed and wanted to lash out, but I didn’t know how and where to do so. Every day my anger brewed deeper and stronger. While I was able to rely on my family and team for support and we created plans for moving forward with the business and helping others to cope during that time, I could still sense that anger brewing and boiling day by day. That was when I decided to seek help. I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist and one session of release became a weekly habit for over a year. These sessions helped me to understand where the hurt and anger were coming from and to release my thoughts and feelings without judgement. I didn’t need to make any plans because those were already happening. I just needed to look inward and honor what was going on inside me.

What was common about these two situations?
· I was experiencing challenges in my mind. My thoughts were getting in the way of me
showing up in the world as my best self.
· I needed help. I knew that having someone to talk to would be valuable to me in
processing my thoughts.

What was different about them?
· In my cancer experience, I had acceptance of my illness and felt a strong resolve to
overcome it, but I just didn’t know how I could move forward beyond the disease. I
needed help to imagine a different version of me and my future, and to begin taking
steps towards it.
· In my Covid experience, I was already moving forward with steps and externally felt
clarity about what I wanted to do. I needed help in unpacking the darkness that seemed
to be lingering in my thoughts despite everything going in the right direction.

As a professional coach myself, I knew that I couldn’t get through these situations alone. Having the right support in both these experiences was so critical for me and I feel very blessed to understand what I needed in those moments and to have direct access to both types of help. I know that many are still struggling and don’t realize they need help. And others know they need help but not sure what type of help and where to get it. I hope that, by sharing my own stories, it might shed some light and nudge others to seek support from the right sources.

Three Leadership Beliefs I Changed my Mind About (and how neuroscience helped me get there)

When did you last change your mind about something? Maybe it was this morning when you decided to wear a different pair of pants. Perhaps it was last night when you were planning a family vacation and thought of visiting a different place. It could even be last week when your friend convinced you that pineapple on pizza is actually yummy. We go through decisions like these so often we may not even realize just how much we change our minds about simple and not-so-simple things.

I’ve been reflecting about significant perspectives that I found myself re-thinking in the past few years, and one big theme is leadership. As a leader myself managing several businesses, who also works as a coach with a lot of leaders in organizations and teams, I’ve been trying to observe and understand what drives our behaviors and how we lead others. What practices help or hinder us from being our best as leaders? How can we continuously bring out the best in ourselves and our people?

In this learning journey, I have come to change my mind about how I should show up as a leader. A big contributor to these shifts is my continuous learning about our brain and how it works. Here are three things that have adjusted for me and the references that helped.

1. Leaders don’t show emotions.

I used to think that showing emotions as a leader, especially crying, is a sign of weakness. Now I know that my emotions are simply an indication of something that is valuable to me, and if I share that with my team, they will learn more about me and what I value, and even support my pursuit to be consistent with those values. Allowing my team members to share their feelings with me and with each other also helps us to create better connections, and work more cohesively. Thanks to the work of Dr. Lisa Feldman-Barrett who wrote the book “How Emotions are Made” and Dr. Susan David who wrote “Emotional Agility,” I have been learning to create better awareness of my emotions and what they mean to me, as well as cognizance of others’ emotions and what they mean to them.

2. Leaders don’t bring personal concerns to work.

I used to subscribe to the notion that one should “check their personal lives at the door” when they come to work every day. You are on “company time” so any time your mind wanders to personal thoughts such as a sick child or an argument with a family member, you are doing the company a disservice and should just learn to lock those thoughts away. Now I understand that I come to my workplace as a completely whole person who has various facets of my life, and if my brain is not at its best because those other facets are not going well, I will not be at my best for my company anyway. I love the work of Dr. Sarah McKay, neuroscientist and author of “In Her Head,” who shares a simple model of how one’s mindset, one’s environment and one’s physiological state all play a critical role in supporting a healthy brain. Integrating brain-healthy habits into my day no longer makes me feel guilty for spending time on myself. 

3. Leaders are direct and completely fact-based.

I used to believe that the best way of communicating is to be completely direct, objective and fact-based. Now I know that I also have to be held accountable for the impact of my message on others. How they receive my message is equally important in determining the effectiveness of our communication. Thanks to the lessons I learn from my favorite podcast Huberman Lab, hosted by Stanford professor Dr. Andrew Huberman, I understand how the different chemicals in our brains are triggered and how they influence our behaviors. 

By understanding the mechanisms of how our own mind works, I’ve learned to change my mind about what good leadership looks and feels like. I’m still learning and may continue to adjust some of my beliefs, but that is the value of continuous learning or neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to form new connections). My encouragement to other leaders is to keep learning too. If the best athletes continue to practice their sport even after they’ve won several medals and trophies, then leaders should continue practicing their craft as well.

I’m also fascinated by neuroscience because it helps me to reinforce my belief that, while we might look and sound different from others and while our principles might be shaped by our environment and culture, underneath we are all the same. If we get better at understanding why and how we think, feel and behave, we might be more capable of looking at others past the prejudices and judgements and simply accept that we are all human beings doing the best we can to thrive.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

We all want to do well. But what about when this desire to do well prevents us from even starting something?

I’ve been on a long journey of letting go of perfectionism and embracing who I am. I even started a community called The Parent in Progress to document my experience as a work-in-progress new parent and to support other new parents.

I am sharing a few things I’ve learned and reflected on in this journey.

I know that perfection is impossible, but why do I still want to be perfect?

“Progress over perfection” is an overused (but admittedly, appropriate) quote you’ll hear. But, why is it so hard to truly let go of perfection and embrace this mindset?

When I think about my personal definition of perfection, it’s this expectation that I have to do it all and I will do it without mistakes, without breaks and without help. Written down, it seems like such an unrealistic, impossible expectation of myself, doesn’t it? No human can meet that.

Perhaps, moving away from perfection means moving towards our own humanity. It is about accepting that we will make mistakes, we will need breaks, and we need others’ help. It is making the courageous choice to say “I am enough”.

Brene Brown expands on this beautifully in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging’.”

There is so much power and freedom in embracing and accepting who we are, as is, in this moment.

If I let go of perfection, will that mean I won’t strive to do my best?

Initially, I resisted this new mindset of “I am enough” because I thought it might mean that I wouldn’t want to improve and do my best anymore (and I’ve heard this resistance from others as well).

For me, this resistance comes from seeing the many ways that being a perfectionist has benefitted me to achieve a goal and to do good work. But, if I further reflect on it, I can recall the many times perfectionism has not helped me – the indecision, the countless unnecessary revisions, the stress of it all. I want a healthier way of approaching things.

I’ve realized that believing “I am enough” and wanting to improve is not an ‘Either-or’ situation; we can believe in both. This quote put it best:

Instead of perfection, what can I focus on instead?

In coaching, we believe that when our actions are aligned with our intention, we can create more sustainable change.

In overcoming perfectionism, this can mean shifting our mindset from the abstract, unrealistic ideal of perfection to clear, defined intentions and values that we personally hold important. We can reflect on what drives us and what’s behind this initial desire for perfection.

Some reflections questions we can think about:

  • How has perfectionism helped you? How has it not helped you?
  • What positive impact would believing “I am enough” have on you?
  • What is most important to you in life? What values do you want to live by?

By asking ourselves these questions, we can be clearer on what we really want. If the goals are clear, it is easier to work towards that goal.

There is no quick fix for perfectionism. It might never go away fully and certain situations may trigger us. At the end of the day, it’s about mindfully living out our intentions and values. It’s about celebrating ourselves and our progress.

How can embracing your imperfection and living more intentionally benefit you? Would you like support to make that happen? Get in touch with Haraya to see how coaching can help you.

Reflections on Creating New Habits this 2021!

It is 2021 and the start of the New Year… and one of the first few messages I read in our chat group is this post:

My GOAL in 2021

Is to Accomplish the Goals I set in 2020

Which I should have done in 2019

Because I made a promise in 2018

Which I planned in 2017

I found this so hilarious and was laughing silently, and yet a little bit later I was asking myself, how much of this is true for me?

Suddenly, it wasn’t entirely funny at all…

When I think about it, I have accomplished so many goals in my life which I am grateful for, and I also have a number of “unfinished” goals that I started way back when. Case in point is losing weight, this has been a perennial struggle for me and year after year I say that I will lose weight. At a certain point, I had lost weight and then I gain it again… at times maybe a little more than what I had lost. 2020 was no different, in fact, I told myself that with more time at home then I can do my exercises and eat healthier food. It started ok, and then it turned around in the last quarter and now am back where I started, or worse. The more I think about it, the more I realize that something has to change in order for me to lose weight. I know what needs to be done, eat right, do some form of exercise, sleep well. Then I ask myself, what’s preventing me from doing all of these things?

One question stuck in my head as I was reflecting on this, is the goal really to lose weight or is losing weight the reward for achieving my goals? If so, what then is the goal? My realization is that the goal, at least for me, should be to create new habits and practice them committedly and consistently. And as I create new habits, the reward of losing weight and becoming healthier which will be a consequence of my daily actions over time. James Clear in his book ‘Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones’ says, “You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results.” This redirects my focus to keeping with the daily new habits and let the reward of losing weight take its natural course.

So, my first step is to map out my plan, with the intention of creating new habits that will support my desired outcomes.

  1. Be Clear About My Purpose
    1. What makes this important to me?
    1. Who else will be positively impacted by this?
    1. How can this make a difference in my life?
  2. Define My Trajectory
    1. What outcomes would I like to happen in 2021?
    1. How long will it take for me to get to the desired results?
    1. What resources do I need?
  3. Outline My Everyday Why
    1. What daily actions do I need to do?
    1. How can I ensure that I will do this consistently?
    1. What are my potential roadblocks?
  4. Kaizen = Continuous Improvement
    1. How can I do things better today than yesterday?
    1. What other areas do I need to improve?

Once the plans are clear, then it is time to do the grind and make it happen.

One side note I should remember, studies have shown that when you write down your plans the chances of success is higher, and according to the American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) your chances of success can increase to 65% when you share your plans with someone, and you can bring that up to as much as 95% success rate when you set regular updates/discussions with an accountability partner.

How about you, what new habits would you like to create in your life? If you need help, try speaking to a coach. Depending on what part of your life you would like to improve, there are different types of coaches who can help you, such as a Life Coach, Business Coach or a Career Coach. As Bill Gates said in his TedTalk, “Everyone Needs a Coach”.

Looking forward to creating new habits in 2021 and beyond!

Goal Setting Tips from a Life Coach

Thank you 2020, Welcome 2021!

And just like that, 2020 is over! I remembered sharing this message when I facilitated a year-ender business community gathering and organized a Christmas Thanksgiving outreach event. “2020 may have been a year of shocks and surprises yet we can still make it count with a big celebration of blessings”. No doubt it was a very challenging year, yet I find it pass the fastest after having spent most of it at home and the most meaningful one after reducing almost everything to the core.  Yes, I am welcoming the New Year with the gifts of reflection and learning from 2020 – reinforced values, stronger faith, new perspective, deeper love and gratitude.

At Haraya, we started our 2021 strategic planning session as early as October 2020 building from a positive momentum of thoughtful investments in ourselves, our company’s brand, clients, partners and programs. This geared us up for another new notable year. If you have been following our journals, we ended the year with some thought provoking questions like what gifts did 2020 bring you? What wisdom did you gain from the struggles of the past year? If 2021 were to be your best year, what would you be doing? These hopefully helped you in your reflection as you move forward to 2021. If you haven’t yet started, join me in this journal as we kick off the new year together.

It’s that time of the year when this quote “Forget resolutions this new year, set an intention” got me into reflective thinking.  It led me to some heart and mind opening articles highlighting the difference between resolution and intention.  How mindset and framing have influence over one and the other.  How the value of purpose and practice make a difference in one’s commitment.  I learned that resolution is coming from a perspective that something is wrong with me, that I am not good enough and something has to be changed or fixed in my life.  Resolution sounded more like of a rigid ‘either I do it or else’ command. Good if I’m able to fulfill it however if not, it can lead to a cycle of disempowering thoughts and feeling of failure, guilt, shame or self-judgment which at worst may feed into negative self-worth.  Intention, on the other hand, comes from an empowering space that I am good enough and whole. It is not about what I should be doing rather it’s more of who I want to be.  Something that I need to actively work on for it to manifest in my life as it allows for more room to move and adapt to my circumstances. It is an aim that guides my decisions and actions, a deliberate commitment to align my actions to my purpose and values – enabling me to live my purpose. 

What I loved the most about the concept of intention is that it’s not a one-time event or one off action.  It signifies our active role in continuously creating our dream life.  It nurtures character building of commitment, trust and letting go.  We move forward with it without being attached to the outcome – it’s the journey more than the destination and a practice for progress rather than perfection.  All these inspired me to be more deliberate in setting my intentions to achieve my goals. After all, what can be more fulfilling than living each day moving steps closer to my purpose?

Here are some tips and guide questions that I find helpful in setting and living my intentions:

  1. Reflect on and/or re-write your purpose statement
    1. How has your purpose served your life?
    1. What makes your purpose relevant?
  2. Be clear with what you want to nurture in your life
    1. What specific life area needs attention from you right now?
    1. What will this nurturing bring to your life?
  3. Set your intention – a statement that relates to your purpose
    1. What do you want to be living, feeling or contributing to yourself and others?
    1. How you can bring about that nurturing in your life?
  4. State your goals in a gain frame
    1. What benefits will you gain from achieving you goal?
    1. What positive impact will this goal have in your life?
  5. Develop strategy and action plans to achieve your goals
    1. What strategies are supportive of your goals?
    1. What realistic action steps are you committing to live by?
  6. Acknowledge and celebrate your wins
    1. What milestone(s) did you set around your goals?
    1. How will you reward yourself for the small and big wins?
  7. Learn from your setback
    1. What did you learn from your challenges?
    1. What will you do differently?
  8. Enjoy the journey

I can’t wait and am curious to know, what intentions are you going to set this year that your future self will thank you for?

Let us welcome the New Year with a trusting and grateful heart for the many more blessings God has in stored for us. Wishing you all a Blessed & Peaceful New Year!

God bless!

Lea

Merry Christmas from Haraya Family to yours!

Before we write off 2020 …

What a ride we’ve had in 2020! No one was exempt from its craziness and I know many are just so relieved that it’s finally over and eager to start anew. I, for one, had such high hopes for this year that quickly took a downturn in the first few weeks. Our Haraya team had just completed our strategic planning session and everyone was just so eager to get the year going. This was supposed to be a banner year for us. We had a great plan, a capable team and we were energized by the possibilities! Before we could even find our bearings, Taal had erupted and the next thing we knew we were locked down in our respective homes, scrambling to find a way to run everything virtually.  I clearly recall my own struggle in those first few weeks of March. I found myself almost catatonic, feeling helpless, lost and scared. There was so much uncertainty with no end in sight and no clear timeline that we had little choice than to take it day by day, week by week. On some days, I had to take it hour by hour. Wow! What a ride indeed!

Fast forward to today. I’m looking back and feeling so much warmth and gratitude towards 2020. The words that come to mind in my reflection are: RESET, PIVOTAL, GROUNDING, INTROSPECTION, FAMILY, and LOVE. Not the words I would have used to describe anything back in March, that’s for sure!

What happened between March and December? How did I get to this place of thankfulness despite the roller coaster of a year we’ve had?

It helps that I work with an amazing team. Together, we focused our attention on what really matters and drew from our collective strengths. We asked thoughtful questions and had many conversations with you – our dear friends, clients, partners and coaches. You shared with us your challenges, thoughts, and feelings and told us how you wanted to be supported. So we listened and created with you, not for you.

2020 gave birth to a number of coaching programs that were designed to support you in a way that was most meaningful:

  • Unang Tugon – a first response coaching support for those with an immediate need
  • Ka-malayan – partnering to create awareness of what is happening in your team
  • Ka-lingap – partnering for your complete well-being and brain health
  • Sibol – our community development work supporting educators throughout the country
  • Ka-lunsad – partnering to launch the business you’ve been dreaming about
  • Banyuhayan – partnering to create a new and meaningful life
  • Kina-iya – helping leaders become their best selves while engaging their teams

Just reflecting on all these programs is making me teary-eyed. I would never have guessed that we would end the year with such clarity about who we are as a company and how we want to help. Because we listened, first and foremost, we’ve been the most creative. Haraya is definitely ending 2020 as a banner year, and that is because you’ve helped us to make it so!

Personally, I’ve developed awareness and practiced a side of my brain that I haven’t tapped so much before. I gained new opportunities to support this community that I love so dearly and my family has grown together in many ways.

As we celebrate the Holiday season the new normal way, take a moment aside to reflect. Keep in mind the true meaning of the holiday and celebrate God’s incredible act of love and gratitude.

There’s no way I’m writing off 2020! If anything, it’s been a source of purpose and clarity for me. What about you? What gifts did 2020 bring you?

Cheers,

Jackie

The Power of Reflection

My ultimate happy place during this quarantine has definitely been my balcony. I live on the 40th floor of a high-rise building right in the middle of the city fortunate enough with a view that allows the eye to see as far as it can see.

I have yet to encounter a person that walks into the condo who does NOT take a moment of stillness to have a look at the view (with the exception of someone with a fear of heights). I have observed how people are naturally curious and drawn to take a look, allow their eyes to see, their breath to slow down and their shoulders to drop. And, just for a moment, stand there and “take it all in”.

It’s glimpse of the much needed PAUSE we need in our life.

What makes reflection important?

Viktor Frankl has been attributed to have said: “ Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” It urges us to honor the pause as a time to REFLECT on our next choice, action, response.  

The word “Reflection” comes from the Latin: Reflectere, re-“back” and flectere, “to bend” – bending something back. Allowing ourselves to reflect means we are bending something back, something inwards, allowing our thoughts to bend back inwards.

American Educator and philosopher John Dewey said: “We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.” Reflection is an essential part in learning, growing and creating our desired future.

What is the beauty that unfolds in a reflective space?

As Haraya Coaches, we are trained to take our clients on a transformational coaching journey that is deeply rooted in creating and facilitating a reflective learning space for them. Beauty starts to unfold when our client is able to access their reflective thinking capacity and have a space to “think about their thinking”, to “see” their situation from a different perspective, to bring confused thoughts into clarity or to think about things they may never have thought about before. 

Reflection gives us a space to:

  • Get in touch with what is most meaningful to us
  • Helps bring our own learning to life
  • Gain perspective
  • Become clear on where we want to make a change and take action
  • Appreciate and be grateful for our experiences

It is no secret that 2020 was a one crazy experience. Imagine all the gems of wisdom available to us because of the unprecedented year we have had. Now, is a beautiful time to “take it all in” – to integrate our learning and insights of the year into what is to come for 2021.  

To get you started…

The Haraya Team has pulled together some of the questions that we have been reflecting on the past few weeks:  

  1. What is your biggest win and made you come alive during 2020?
  2. What wisdom did you gain from the struggles of the past year?
  3. What are you most grateful for?
  4. If 2021 were to be your best year yet, what would you be doing?
  5. What trait, strength or characteristic in yourself would you need to activate to achieve that?

Enjoy this time of pause, reflection and gratitude.

We will continue to hold the space and bring life coaching in the Philippines within your reach.

Merry Christmas everyone and a wishing you all a blessed 2021.

Stay curious,

Cecilia

How to Cope with the New Normal Holiday Celebrations

As the COVID-19 cases continue to surge nationwide, we see some positive light as the vaccines are now being created and will soon start to aid us all. But since we are still in the social distancing precautions, holiday celebrations will be different this year. However, according to experts, there are ways to start new traditions during this unprecedented year, as well as ways to cope with what may be a lonelier holiday season.

As mentioned by Dr. Amanda Fialk, licensed clinical social worker, she encourages people to recognize the feelings and emotions they’re experiencing about missing out on the typical holiday season. With this kind of practice of acknowledging and validating your feelings, you are more likely to become less overwhelming and less likely to become blindsided by your emotions.

Dr. Fialk further recommends that people should plan in advance on how they spend the holidays. By planning in advance, you will know how you are going to celebrate differently yet well-planned – this will keep you busy, engaged, and happy.

Knowing that celebrating this holiday season will be quite different and likely unique, take this opportunity to acknowledge self-care to manage stress and anxiety.

Moreover, Dr. Fialk states that be careful with communicating with ‘I’ statements. Using the ‘I’ statements would make your points be heard without attacking someone else’s views or feelings.

Also, since traveling and family gatherings are still prohibited, there are other ways to celebrate in the most intimate way. Why not celebrate it – digital style? With the rise of online meetings that are currently in use by companies, you can still use them for your own convenience. Distance doesn’t have to mean loneliness or isolation, so keep holiday traditions alive digitally!” Fialk said.

And speaking of company online meetings, holiday parties will be quite different. Definitely, companies will host virtual holiday parties to let their employees still feel the Christmas spirit, even from the comfort of their homes.

Additionally, grab this opportunity to maximize the use of digital advances to connect not just for your family and friends but also for other people who also want to celebrate this holiday season. As suggested by Sara Wellensiek, blogger for Mom Endeavors, she insisted that families could start the fun by cooking together over Zoom. They could also host a virtual Thanksgiving ‘happy hour’ before everyone sits down to eat in their own, separate homes. Furthermore, virtual games like a pie-eating contest or pie decorating will be a nice touch.

Wellensiek said that this is also the perfect year to start new traditions. Parents celebrating with their kids at home unlike their traditional going out should be encouraging for the kids to talk about the importance of today’s pandemic and why they can’t do “normal” holiday activities.

As for Dr. Fialk, she recommended finding other ways to feel grateful and connected during the holidays, like doing service work, which can give a sense of appreciation and connection to a greater purpose.

This new normal holiday celebration is not just for the family gatherings and gift giving. Instead, take this opportunity to raise money for helping the needs especially of those people who suffered a lot during this pandemic. After all, the holiday season is all about celebrations and giving back.

We at Haraya Coaching, are here to support all of your fallbacks and guide you to rise up feeling good, resilient, and healthy. We are here to listen and be with you in every step of the way. Want to know how you can cope with the holiday blues? Write to us at team@harayacoaching.com or contact us through our website at http://harayacoaching.com/connect-with-us/